I turned . . . old.
Last week I began my twentieth year. (Most would say I’m nineteen, but…)
~
I think most people my age want to rush into their futures. In some ways I do want to plunge into my plans. But I am so enjoying the life that God has given me right now, that I want it to slow . . . way . . . down so I can thoroughly soak it up and appreciate it.
Perhaps that is why I feel old-ish.
There are those days when I get a little antsy. Not discontent, but . . . I guess the word is eager. Eager to see what comes next. But there is still so much for me to learn before that time comes, and there is so much in the waiting to keep me busy! ;)
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. -Ephesians 5:15-16 (ESV)
But am I redeeming the time? And I don’t just mean that in the context of preparing for marriage, but for the entire short, fleeting vapor of my life. Am I preparing to be a wise and teaching mother? A physician? A gardener, a nurturer of souls?
I often fail and allow frivolous things to distract me, but my Lord is always beside me, teaching me, guiding me back to where I need to be. Helping me to notice the little things and see His fingerprints. Showing me His Sovereignty and Providence. And drawing me ever closer to Him.
As a daughter of the King of kings, I need to want to be as productive as God will give me strength to be. So while I soak up this beautiful life with its little foibles and fascinations, I’ll leave the time tables up to Him and learn all I can to be prepared for whatever He has in store for me.
.:. .:. .:.
“May our sons in their youth be like plants full grown,
our daughters like corner pillars cut for the structure of a palace.”
- Psalm 144:12 (ESV)
Laura on 2 February, 2010, said,
Happy Birthday!
As a recently-turned twenty year old myself, I confess that the exact same thoughts have been echoing through my mind and heart in the last months. I have realized I have to make some changes, for this life is so fleeting. I will never be this age again, just as I can never be nineteen again, or fifteen, or ten. Every second is precious, and while I do look to the future with eager anticipation, simply because I cannot wait to see what the Lord has planned, I also want to capture every moment He is giving me now, to use for His glory as much as I hope my future is. I have found this dedication to be painful, for it causes me to give up some things I love that distract me from Him, but in the end I hope they will be all the more worthwhile.
Thank you for sharing this. =) It is so encouraging to read the thoughts of someone in a similar place in their life, and it gives me further resolve for dedicating my own life further to God.
Hannah Mendenhall on 2 February, 2010, said,
Ah yes, growing older. I desire to be like the women who are 30, 50, 80 even who say they love their age more than any age before. So far I can say that, but I’ve only lived a mere 22 years : ) I understand that eagerness you feel, but at the same time remembering not to wish my life away. Life is such a gift and I love it when the Lord stops me in my go go go life to remind me to slow down so I don’t miss it. I wish you a very blessed 20th year of life and rest assured you are not old : )
Cousin Margaret on 3 February, 2010, said,
A heartfelt post I am sure…it is so easy to lapse into our plans instead of God’s. To begin to plan as if we know the time that we should start a new period in our lives.
You are a beautiful spirit my dear cousin, and I have no doubt that your future will be honoring to the Lord, whatever comes or fades into our service. “The Blessings are much greater than the Sacrifices”
Love,
Margaret
Shutterbug on 3 February, 2010, said,
Such wise words, from a young lady.
Just like Paul when he wrote to the Philippians in 1: 3
“Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.”
It is a joy to serve Jesus with you.
Love & Hugs to all,
Marie :)
Jessica on 12 February, 2010, said,
Hi Breezy…
Thankyou for being so open; it is just what I need to hear right now! Just last Sunday Mum was assuring me, ‘You have the rest of your life to join the choir, to play netball, to teach Sunday School - you don’t have to do it all now!‘ She’s right too. Whether we turn to the left or the right, we will hear a voice behind us saying, ‘this is the way; walk in it’ (Isaiah) I’m eager to see what’s in the future that I so easily forget that God wants me here… now.
God bless you {today!}
Jessica
Heather on 22 February, 2010, said,
Happy Belated Birthday, Breezy! So sorry that this wish is so late! You are such a wonderul person and I am so happy to have ‘met’ you in this blogosphere!
Best wishes for a wonderul year!
love, Heather